An Apology for my Terrible Follow-Through

This blog was started as a record of my second trip to Ecuador last summer. The only problem is, exactly 2/3rds of the way through the trip, after 40 days of faithful posting, I just... stopped.  Stopped posting publicly, anyway. I faithfully kept a daily journal throughout my time there; it's in a backlog on my laptop. And I often kept my social circles updated on my where-and-how-abouts using social media sites. But that faithful blogging record just stopped, for a few reasons:

First, the entire driving force behind the return trip was to find a pair of twin boys whom I'd met at the rescue home where I'd worked on my first visit. Finding out that they were back living with their mother and visiting them within the first week was a huge victory that I was excited to tell my supporters about-- and after that, everything else was just extra. I got to see them and tell them I loved them, saw that they were basically safe and happy, and the love story had a happy ending in that sense.

Second, paradoxically, there are no happy endings, and I was saddened by some things about my boys' family life. Their mom was a little crazy and REALLY flaky, and she seemed to have trouble balancing her need to work for money and her kids' needs for her time-- and the effort of doing so left her an emotional wreck. There may have also been a 'sugar daddy' in the picture to 'help' with the money problem, and if so, she and her family are dangerously vulnerable to abuse and exploitation. I was increasingly disheartened by this-- and also personally frustrated. I hadn't thought out the possibility that they'd be back with their mom, let alone how I'd be perceived as an American missionary reaching out to them if they did. I was surprised by the expectation that my love for the family should come in the form of my nonexistent American wealth, poured into their lives with no strings attached. Trying to help the family become self-empowered while resisting this assigned role increasingly sucked the energy out of that part of the trip. By the time she bailed on both of our planned goodbye meetings on the second-to-last and last full days of my time there, I was just really sad and tired.

One of the reasons I didn't write about this is because it feels like slander. I'm still super thankful that she is taking care of them as much as she is; I'm just sad that I didn't get to say goodbye, and that I know so little about the consistency with which their practical and emotional needs are being met.

Third, as the mission to the boys waned, many wonderful things filled my time at the end of the trip-- from mountaintop adventures to church gatherings. These were great social times, but their details were probably more interesting to those who were there-- so it seemed natural to leave them to unpublicized enjoyment. Those really exciting moments made their way in snippets to social media statuses and the like, rather than blog-length dissertations about the entirety of the day.

Fourth, I'm a lazy bum. Really. These might be legitimate concerns, but they still don't legitimize my decision to totally bail. Yes, there's a huge emotional investment to writing things down, but a lot of people helped me get to Ecuador, and I really did owe it to them to keep the updates going. And follow up with a letter. And a video/slideshow of photos. All of this still needs to be done.

Now to figure out how, and when...

Note to myself and all missionaries: Don't wait. Don't be lazy. Follow through.

Days 32-40 (Catch-up!)

7/9/13

Day 32

Yesterday, it was back to the church to keep working on the mural. Six volunteer youth kids showed up, all very effective, helpful, and fun to work with. When-- oh, glorious moment-- we took off the masking tape that had separated the different colors, the look was epic. This all took a lot longer than I thought, so by the time we wrapped up and headed off to dinner (courtesy of the church via Julio), it was past five o'clock. Of course, this meant I'd entirely missed my English lesson, with Matteo, but he's on vacation now and doesn't really give a flip about anything. I remember those days.

Day 33

Today,  I was super stressed trying to finish the high stuff on the walls to send the andamios (scaffolding) back. I had the help of three brothers-- only the oldest of which was of much practical help, though the others were faithful runners when a change of color or new brush was needed-- but the work was slow, so around 5:00, we cleaned up and parted ways-- them to hop on the two-hour bus ride to their house, me to go to Matteo's, where I ate dinner, took a nap, recruited help tomorrow from some youth who were arriving for a worship team meeting, and then went home with the family. Tomorrow's going to have to be an early day in order to prepare enough to make the helpers useful, so I'm going to bed... now!

7/11/13

Day 35

Yesterday was another ten-hour work day. This time I actually planned ahead and bought a little food-- bread, cheese, and milk-- for myself and the volunteers. We worked to finish the one big wall  and finished some more of the people silhouettes on the other. Santi also decided that while we have the andamios and paint and volunteers, we might as well finish the wall we were going to leave blank, as well as the circular space inside of the skylight. It was super-fun, but a little scary, up there on the tip-top of the andamios, drawing the letters of 'Juventud Acabando Suenyos' (Youth Achieving Dreams, the name of the group), around the circular skylight. Photos to come, of course. We worked until seven and then went to bible study. Wednesday bible study's always at the same place, a nice couple with a little baby boy who likes to kiss Sophie (pastor's baby) on the mouth, much to both parent's dismay. They also make each other cry a lot and do a lot of cute things, so the study is very distracting, but not in an unpleasant way. Home, sleep, etc. All right, gotta go to church now. Peace.

~Ely

7/15/13

Days 35-38

Goodness, am I behind! Thursday was a 13-hour painting day; Santi was with me at the end of it, but had to leave to go to a bible study-- I said I'd stay and keep working if he'd bring me food after the study (painting days didn't really involve a lot of eating...). When he went to pick up his wife to join him, he found that she was sick, so he made her dinner, put her to bed, and came back to the church. I'd expected him to be gone a lot longer, so I hadn't really done that much, but we were both tired and he wanted to be with Gaby, so he talked me into leaving the rest to finish up tomorrow (I'd wanted to go to the orphanage the next day, but there was still so much to do!). We went to eat dinner at his house-- a variation on meat loaf-- and enjoyed philosophical conversation about the nature and place of apologetics, religion vs religiosity, etc. I like talking to Santi. I feel like he sees through my weirdness and sort of understands me. Which is always nice. Anyway, he took me home, where I went directly to bed in order to be at church early the next morning. Andrea dropped me off on her way to school, so I was working by 7:30. 

Day 36

Around 11, Julio and I ate sandwiches made out of bread, cheese, and chicken that I'd brought, and he called Andres to come help me out. I put him to work erasing pencil lines and doing some nit-picking, and when Santi arrived shortly after, they started painting the last wall, a much simpler design. He put on a movie for the kids who had arrived for kids' club so that we could keep working. When I finished down below, I began cleaning, a ridiculous process, especially in the transition between kids' club and youth 'bible study'-- and though we expected that the kids who showed up would be excited to help finishing up their youth room, the few kids that did showed up were either sick or tired, so I ended up scrambling to finish my part of the last wall entirely on my own. It was really frustrating and I wanted to cry, expecially because they were rushing me or telling me to finish up tomorrow, since we had to go deliver food to the poor in the city. At that point, the thought of putting on my stinky painting clothes and coming back to work one more day made me want to vomit, so I stayed focused and finished up around 10:30, making it a 15-hour work day. We then went to deliver food, which I enjoyed, but was really tired by the next day.

Day 37

On Saturday, Andrea, Angelica and I went to take Grandma to the dentist, which proved to be a half-day endeavour, but around 3pm, I took an acquaintence up on his offer to join me on a trip to the teleferico, in which lil people-filled boxes are strung on a wire and taken up a mountain. It reminded me distinctly of an attraction at the San Diego Zoo that I always used to enjoy with my grandmother, except that you got off at the top and enjoyed walking around the mountains for a bit, taking pictures of the spectacular view of the valley. It was awesome-- a little awkward, since the guy from Josue's church who had invited me was probably expecting a date and he got a party-- we were there with Andrea, Petato, the young uncle and his girlfriend, and the little sister and her boyfriend. It was really pleasant, but since I was hungry and there was a festival going on in Pomasqui, we headed over to that part of town to eat. By the time we finished, though, it was after 9, and both of 'my guy-dates' had to go back home. I was really, really wiped and almost had Petato drop me off at the house, but decided to go to the festival with the others in the end. I'm really glad I did, though-- it was beautiful. There were so many people in the town square, some of them in strange costumes, but most of them just people dancing and selling things. I tried a little of a traditional festival type drink made from fermented sugar cane juice and fruit, which was really delicious. If I wasn't such a homebody about drinking, I would've had more. There was also a fireworks show that beat Disneyland by a mile, especially because we were so close to it that we had to mob-shove our way back through the crowd to stay out of its way. Part of the festivities was also a giant spinning tower thing that had lil fireworks type things attached to the whirly parts, it was kind of fantastic. Unfortunately, my camera's been in the habit of turning itself on in my little purse and draining the battery, so I didn't get photos of any of this, but, like Petato told me on the Teleferico, I took pictures with my mind. Which doesn't stick as well, but not having the camera actually helped me stay in the moment and enjoy the day more. Hm. Though I didn't want to leave, I was so wiped by the time we got in the car that I slept on the way to drop people off, pick up Mom, and head home.

Day 38

Yesterday, we went on bus to meet the Matutes for church in the South. We got there a lot later than the pastor said and the service was still really long; the church is the emphatic charismatic type that, while I enjoyed, was probably a little much for the newcomers. I spent half the time trying to help the kids adjust to the Sunday school, as they were even more shy than one would expect. No one likes being the new kid, but Josue, at least, said he really enjoyed the group by the end of the day. Afterwards, the church gave us lunch, and Gloria shared that she'd actually had some bad experiences with churches of this denomination-- people 'helping' to feel better about themselves, and to be in a more advantageous position to judge her family; family members who sang God's praises all day long and then did nothing for her. I was glad that she'd told me, and I hope that she gives this church a chance to show her a better experience, and that they follow through on it. I also worked with the youth pastor to track down a young man  who can help the kids with their homework when school starts again in the Fall. I actually wanted to start earlier to get the kids caught up, but Mom said she wanted them to have a vacation, especially since Dad might be rolling into town to spend part of it with them. Anyway, we arranged the tutoring, then went back home on the bus, spontaneously stopping at a historical and ecological museum site where remains of an Indigenous village had been found. There is still a lot of investigating to do; they don't even know which group it was yet. It was really cool to see this piece of history, especially as it's in the midst of being uncovered. We went back to Grandma's house, where Andrea and I took a nap, and I talked quite a bit with her great-grandmother, who I find to be absolutely wonderful. The family (and the grandmother) get a little frustrated with the effects of her old age-- hearing loss, repetition of stories, etc, so it's kind of cool to be able to enjoy her company; I hope it helps give them a fresh look at this sweet, weird, hilarious old lady. It's also fueling a poem, which I'm excited about. Yesterday we also found out that Betsabe's family is going on vacation until Thursday, so I can't go to Los Rios until then. However, I'm planning to visit the other Betzy, Betzabeth Lopez, en Guayaquil instead. I'll be leaving tomorrow, and have to get packed and ready to go before then, including finding a place to get Malaria shots as I drop altitude for the next two weeks. I'm doing some laundry now, and if I can get ready in time, I hope to head to the orphanage in a few hours to have some more time with the little monsters before I leave town. This is a really exciting time. Prayers!

7/16/13

Day 39

Yesterday was really chill-- I planned on going to the orphanage, but I also had to get ready to leave today-- including doing laundry, packing, etc, and as I had no energy, this took so long that by the time I was done, it seemed kind of pointless to go, so I mulled about the house until Naty came by and picked me up to go to the grocery store with her and her brother.  From there, we went to the hospital and Grandma's briefly to drop off the uncle and the groceries before picking up Andrea from the bus stop on her way home from school and heading over to the house to meet Petato to help him study for an English exam. There was a lot of traffic, so he didn't get there til 8, but we worked through a few lessons and ate dinner between 8 and 11; the time flew by since the three of us generally have a great time together. We also Skyped Javi and worked out some of the details for our mountain climbing, as well as finalized the plan for today. I'm hopping on a bus and heading for Betzy Pineda's dorm in Guayaquil, Ecuador's other big city (pretty much the modern cultural capital) to spend a few days there, before going to Los Rios to be with Betsy Coello and her family. Adventuretime!

~Ely

7/17/13

Day 40

Yesterday involved a lot of waiting-- We took Angelica to the hospital to relieve Jose from grandma duty-- I love that in this culture, when someone's sick, they don't just visit them, they're really there with them. It's awesome. Then we dropped Andrea off and Naty took me to the bus station around 10, where we were informed that the chart that said a bus was coming at 10:45 was in error, and that the next ticket I could buy for Guayaquil was at 12:45. But the lobby was pretty comfortable, so I didn't mind doing some reading while I waited, then I mosied down the street, where I found a vegetarian restaurant to stop for lunch-- of interest to me, since I'm a stateside vegetarian hoping to continue cooking Ecuadorian food. I also picked up some oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies for the road. When the bus finally left, I found that it was almost empty, and I had plenty of room to get comfortable for the long ride. Thought I closed my curtain due to the sun, one time I peeked out and found that we were driving by gorgeous mountain-and-river scenes, so I kept it open the rest of the time and tried to take pictures, which failed to capture anything, really, but will maybe help me remember. By the time it got dark, I had most of my book read and half of a poem written. I finally arrived at the station around 10:30, and Betzabeth arrived shortly after. We hopped in a taxi to go to her very close-by apartment, where she lives with three female friends, where we all sat around watching a novella for some 20 mins before heading to her bedroom, where we caught up on life before going to sleep. This morning, we're going to go see the city, and hopefully get my yellow fever vaccine and malaria meds from the place I have information about here in Guayaquil. I'm really excited. Adventuretime!

~Ely

Days 29-31

7/7/13

Day 29

It's wonderful that I don't believe in jinxes, because I can say with confidence that things going as planned (or otherwise very well) is becoming a bit of a trend. Thank you, God! (However, I do believe in speaking too soon, so continued prayers are always appreciated.) On Friday, I went to the orphanage, where all of the leadership was away at a meeting and the kids were on vacation, so I felt they could use the extra hands. We spent the whole time on the playground, where I pushed swings, investigated screams, gave little improvised time-outs, and sat in the shade with kids in my lap. Best part-- a few f the kids and I started playing a game where they tried to climb up the yellow slide, and I kept pushing them back down. After the kids ate, I picked up some snacks for lunch on the way to the mall, where I found some summer reading type practice books for each kid. Then, I headed to the church to fix the paint colors like I wanted, marked the walls, and made an example for how the wall is supposed to look-- also a handy lil piece of art to take back to my house with me!

7/8/13

Day 29.5

Oh boy am I behind... anyway, on Friday, I prepped for the painting, then joined Santi upstairs for the end of the kid's club-- he was in the middle of painting faces, and I joined him. After that, Santi took the older kids and me to the Friday night bible study. We went to the house of a couple that had a big, ridiculously friendly dog, I think a pitt, which made Santi's wife nervous as she was holding her napping, incredibly dog-phobic two-year-old. Though the dog very politely sat by his owner, who held his collar, I could still feel Santi's wife's discomfort, and as I tried to signal the owners to take the dog out of the room, I had an epiphany: I have American concerns and an American way of loving people. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, just something good to know. Hm. Anyway, we went to feed people in the city and didn't get home til almost 1am. It was almost midnight before I realized that Andrea didn't know where I was (I had missed her calls during the Bible study), but basically, she had figured, so she wasn't having a heard attack or anything. Pretty successful day, if I do say so m'self. And I do.

Day 30

On Saturday, Gloria and the kids were busy, so we couldn't go to visit as planned. Instead, Andrea and I went to the Mercado Artesenal, and I did most of my gift shopping. I love that place. So many awesome handmade things. Petato was able to join us, which was great, though I feel he was a lil bored as Andrea and I did our girly shopping thing. Then, we all went back to  the church to paint. Painting was great, except that the small, well-trained group of volunteers kept expanding as people arrived late, which was both really helpful and hard to manage. People who didn't understand The System were jumping right in anyway, but Santi and the others helped me keep the whole project on track. The walls look great—ridiculously colorful and all. I told them they could all come back today-- Monday-- to help with the fine tuning and next steps, as they're all on vacation now. Then, Santi dropped all of us off at Andres's house for his surprise birthday party. Later in the evening, Andrea (who had left painting to take Petato to the bus) called and Santi told her to come to the party-- she said something like 'we'll see' and hung up. Apparently she tried to call later to get directions to the party, but neither Santi or I our phones on us. Which was unfortunate. Anyway, I got home about midnight, and as I still don't have keys (the father seems to have absconded with them), that makes the second night in the row of having to ring the doorbell in the middle of the night, which is sucky. But Andrea didn't seem mad or anything.

Day 31

Yesterday marked about halfway through my time here, which is weird. On the way to pick up the grandmas for church, we tried to figure out how I was gonna get to the South to visit the kids that afternoon, as Andrea and Petato both had some serious homework. Angelica thankfully volunteered to go with me, though! At church, I talked to Pastor Milton (Santi's dad), who said that they in fact did have a connection to a church in the south-- 'not Baptist, but one of healthy doctrine' (I didn't feel it was a good time to interject that I'm also not Baptist, but of healthy doctrine, though I was tempted)-- anyway, I was really happy because there's a possibility of getting them rooted in this church, but also because it might be an opportunity to find someone to help with the kids' homework. After stopping by the mall to pick up a book and some picture frames for the photos I printed, we hopped on a bus-- well, three buses-- to go South. We arrived at the big mall where we met before, but since Gloria and the kids were just leaving the house, we had some time to look for a place to eat that wasn't mall-priced. Several blocks away, we found a restaurant with a good deal on a whole chicken combo, and we waited. It took the family quite a while-- over an hour-- to arrive, so Angelica and I got to talking a little bit, which was nice. Finally, the fambam arrived, and we shared hugs and food. Afterwards, I gave them their gifts, and the mom was really, really happy with the photos. We then headed to the arcade in the mall. The place runs on reloadable cards that you swipe at the machines-- weird-- so I bought a card for each adult, and the kids ran around playing with us and each other for awhile. It was pretty fun. Before leaving, we stopped by a school supply place for crayons and pencils-- I'd forgotten to include this with the coloring book and workbooks. On the way home, Angelica and I talked about boys and our daddy issues; I was really honored that she opened up to me, as she probably thinks I'm a weirdo in a lot of ways. I think we humanized each other a bit in that moment, and I hope that I was able to help with some of what she's going through. An uncle met us at the bus station to take us back to Abuela's house, where the whole family was gathered. I witnessed the most incredible thing: the whole family-- from great grandma to 17-year-old Angelica-- gathered in the living room to figure out the monthly bills together. Now, this is two households, but one family, and they calculate the expenses, reprimand each other for the high energy bills, and then decide who is going to contribute what. It was kind of fantastic. I tried picturing my mom's face if I suggested something like this, but it was literally impossible. As we were leaving, the lovely great-grandmother said something about being frustrated with her age, and I adamently insisted that I wanted to be old, that I would trade her places, that she was beautiful, etc. Maybe she believed me. Maybe it was a good moment for her. Home. Sleep. Done.

Day 28

7/5/13

Yesterday, surprisingly, actually contained no surprises. I went to church in the morning to mix paints, mark the walls to know what to color where (I made an awesome 'paint purse' out of cardboard, masking tape, and communion cups to help), and then, on second thought, edited the paint colors. This last step actually took awhile, so I didn't get to Matteo's until 4:30. This worried me because it's our last day of studying for school (his vacation starts this afternoon), and I know he had tests to review for. However, when I got to the house, Fani told me that he'd come home exhausted and was taking a nap. After I ate, she woke him up, and we studied for his social studies exam. Then I found a Chesterton database online and began reading The Man Who Was Thursday; I'm thoroughly enjoying it so far. Funny that on July 4^th I listened to British music (Mumford and Florence, wewt!) and read Chesterton in Ecuador. My little expat moment! After dinner, Matteo and I played Angry Birds. First time ever for me, and we can't beat level five. Rage! I must beat it. Then never play again. Cause I know myself.

Today, I'm going to the book store in the mall to look for educational stuff to fuel the Matute kids' summer; then, I'll be headed to the orphanage DANGIT, the mall doesn't open til 10. I'll be going to the orphanage, THEN the bookstore. Which kind of makes more sense, but I'm antsy to figure out this stuff. I also need to make a bunch of phone calls for our trip tomorrow morning. During kids' club at church, I'll do some last minute prep work for our work day tomorrow afternoon, then go to the youth meeting to recruit helpers. If I get a team of 6-10, that would be ideal. I think I can. Anyway, it's time to go start today. There are a lot of variables, so I'm praying for God to smooth the way.  

Day 27

7/4/13

I'm happy to say that I finished the drawing and taping for the mural yesterday, then I picked up some cheap tupperware to mix paint in tomorrow on the way to Magaly's. Matteo and I read English stories to prepare for his reading test tomorrow. The family went to the hospital together, as they've all got some persistent and uncomfy cold symptoms. Of course, this took awhile, but while they were gone, I did a little reading and helped Fany go on an email-deleting mission. She apparently hasn't checked her email regularly for the past three years-- Her inbox started with 1950-something unread messages, and, starting from the oldest, we deleted half of those. It reminded me of helping my own Oma work her computer (though if there's one thing my Oma knows backwards and forwards, it's her email. And she'd never have more than two unread messages =7). Fany and I ate dinner, then Magaly got home with the fam, and we saw the news on the kitchen TV-- the whole continent of South America is collectively pissed off (which could be a positive, considering it's the first time in history they've been 'collectively' anything) about the disrespect they've been dealt lately. Basically, what happened is this: Ex-CIA guy leaks secrets about creepy US gov. surveillance that pissed just about everyone off and thoroughly embarassed the US-- and since leaking classified info's a crime, he's now on the run. Of the 21 countries that he applied for amnesty to, many are in South America, and many have not yet responded to his application. To the US, this makes said countries potential betraying boogar-faces, so when the Bolivian president came back from a powwow in Russia where this guy was apparently hiding, he was denied his request to stop and refuel in three Western European countries. Basically, he was treated like a public enemy.  I'm at least happy that my friends in the US say this is actually getting news coverage (surprise!), and that I get to witness it from this unique perspective. What a Summer to be in South America! 

Today is my first Independence Day outside the US. I'm not super heartbroken, it was just a weird revelation. Probably won't be seeing any fireworks. However, I WILL be mixing paint colors at church for the mural, which is just as colorful and exciting. :)

~Ely

Day 26

Day 26

Julio and I took a quick walk up the hill above the church-- he's pudgy and I have a poor excuse for a cardiovascular system, so we didn't talk much-- to order the andamios (scaffolding) from a little place up the hill. When they 'delivered' them (ie, quickly dropped the pieces in the church yard) I was doubtful that the strips of metal and wood were going to keep me in the air. However, Santi arrived at that moment, and he quickly showed that he had done this before. A solid, generally unwiggly metal frame reached from floor to two-story ceiling in less than 10 minutes. As a small descending staircase limited our ability to move the scaffold to give access to the whole wall, we laid some boards between the second-story balcony and the scaffolding, as well as over the staircase's flat rails. Though everything was strong and stable, I quickly realized that my talk of not being scared of heights 'more than normal' wasn't going to help me here. However, I managed to get a reasonable amount of work done, and am excited to continue tomorrow. Except that the projector fell off of the ladder where it had to be propped and sometimes has to be restarted and sweet-talked in order to get it working. I'll need to buy a new one, which is an unexpected use of trip money, but over all I'm doing halfway decently with that, and I'd rather not turn myself into a stress ball like last time. I left briefly to tutor Matteo, only to find that he was studying for his Spanish subject tests with his grandma, so it was back to the church til dinner time, after which Andrea's mom and dad met us at Magaly's house and we went out joy riding-- first to drop off the grandparents who were also in the car, then to drive around Centro Historico. Though there was an argument between Andrea and her dad about his having bailed two nights before, they seemed to have resolved things (or thought enough happy thoughts, at least) as the night progressed, so when we stopped by a restaurant to eat, we all seemed to be having a good time. By the time we got back home, it was almost midnight, so I didn't waste any time getting myself to bed.  

Day 25

7/2/13

Disclaimer: this is a reflection on my frustrations and struggles with this trip. It's all real and really needs prayer, but can't be read apart from the awesomeness, such as that experienced on day 16. Good reminder to me, too. :)

It's days like yesterday that make me feel frustrated with the downsides of this trip structure. Julio never arrived at the church-- I'm sure it was for good reason, I don't blame him, but the way everything's set up meant that I was waiting for his call all day until it was time to tutor, rather than, say, going to the orphanage to be with the kids. The day wasn't entirely lost-- I did some writing, reading, and some drawing for the mural-- but that's not exactly, you know, what I'm here for. I'm trying to figure out if this is a culturally-ground obsession with efficiency or a valid claim that I'm (unintentionally) not doing as I'm called to do. I guess that's what I get for 'doing my own lil thang'-- staying with friends and carving out my own path rather than living and working with a ministry that's always and intentionally active. But I did that before, and it has its downsides, too. I guess this is just what we get for being humans.

 I also feel like I am asking entirely the wrong questions sometimes. Like, I get frustrated with the mundane middleclassness of my current existence-- the hair dye, the dating drama, the shopping trips with a dad who's desperately trying to make up for leaving by buying the kids' love. It's not that the middle class isn't in need of ministry, of sibling love, but I don't know if that's my purpose, and if it is, if it's best done by taking up a middle-class, comfortable existence for myself. I make myself dizzy thinking this way, and actually, going to the beautiful, relatively poor church in Quevedo in two weeks has become a bit of an escape. I hate that. I don't want to escape. I want to live God's purpose for this moment. The question 'How can I be a blessing to this family?' is always in the back of my mind, and that seems like a good question, especially considering the divine hints that that is a real, practical purpose of what God has me here for, but I frankly don't know how. Both the language barrier and my social anxieties put boundaries on how much I can participate in the culturally-essential activity of whole-family-talk-time, and while I push against those boundaries and try to expand them, they'll always be there, to some degree. Don't get me wrong. The family has grace for me. But it's just not the same. Maybe it's not supposed to me. God has been showing me that the fact that I'm drawn to the pace and social comfort of one-on-one conversations can in fact be an asset. Another issue is cleaning. I'm careful to clean up after myself and be helpful, but I think having a guest clean actually makes them uncomfortable, as if they're letting me take a subservient/lower-class role, as if I'm not taking a role as a family member in the house (remember, it's common for a cleaning lady to come in a few times a week to do things like that). I think back to how awkward Peter felt about letting Jesus wash his feet, and how Jesus did it anyway. But he was also so firmly established as king that the act of humility was one of strength, rather than wavering. Maybe if I was a better family member, I'd be a better 'servant'. But I'm no good at being a family member. I never have been. 

I also suffer from the mental framework that says things are either a success or a failure. And even if I personally grow, I might still fail. I might fail people. It's not an irrational fear, it happens all the time. And the reality is, I don't trust God to make beauty from my failures. Not in real time, anyway. That's why I need, need, need times of prayer and reflection. To remember. I'm going to start giving that to myself in the mornings. The wonderful out-of-the-blue encouragements from friends in the states have also been such a blessing. Thanks guys. :)

Days 23 & 24

6/30/13

Day 23

Yesterday was a whirlwind of beauty. After meeting up with some relatives at Magaly's house as per usual, we began the process of reuniting with our Palabra de Vida compatriots. First, we got dropped off at a bus stop where the sweet, wonderful little Paola was waiting, and bought some goodies for the picnic and waited for another sweet friend, Javier, to come to the bus stop. From there, we rode the bus together to the park, Javi and I talking in English (he's studying to be an English teacher, but says he'd actually rather do something else with his English) on the way. Alexis (another student) and Mireya (a leader at PDV) both met us there. First, we sat under a little canopy thing and told our 'stories of the past three years'. It was so great to hear a nice, thorough update on the happenings in my beautiful friends' lives, especially the parts about what God had been teaching them. Full up inspiring. I was supposed to go last, but half of us needed a bathroom break, so we decided to walk down to the public restroom, where a male attendant manned each doorway-- both male and female sides-- and sold TP for 15 cents. I'm used to this kind of thing by now, but it's occurred to me that it might be of interest. Then, we went to a restaurant, where I bought us a pizza and shared my lil story. After ice creams, we decided to go to Centro Historico, where all the fancy old buildings and fun night happenings are. We had to part ways with Paola, who had other things to do, but met Petato in Centro after he got off of work and motored over. The group has a running joke that we are secretly in love with each other, which I assure you is only a joke, but he's a fun kid. I just have no idea what to do when they joke like that-- every reaction is taken as evidence! Wandering around downtown was awesome-- especially when we encountered a museum/art magic place where all of the walls (and there were many) were covered with really unique modern murals. It was heaven, and inspired my eventual interior decorating plans. From there, we walked around and enjoyed the beauty, and caught maybe 10 minutes of some really interesting absurdist street theatre. Definitely one for the books. We poked around in shops, etc, until it was time to hitch a ride with Mireya's dad to the bus stop where we would meet Andrea's uncle and Alexis and and Javi would catch the last bus to Alexis' house, where they'll both stay til this morning until Javi can get another bus home. Beautiful day.  

7/1/13

Yesterday was a weird mix of fulfilled, delayed, and dissolved plans. When I called in the morning, I found that the whole Matute household was sick with something coldish/fluish, so our outing will wait til next week. However, I finally got to accompany my friend Josue to the church where I met him three years ago. My original connection to the church was Palabra de Vida folks, and it was nice to see several of them again. A group of wonderful gringos was there with Palabra de Vida, so Priscilla Gonzales, daughter of ministry heads Daniel and Ana, made an appearance too. It was nice to talk to her and the conversation was pleasant, especially considering our long series of unpleasant miscommunications in the past. The missionary pastor, a pleasant husky Southern dude with a heart that seems to really find fellowship (rather than a damsel-in-distress) in the country of Ecuador, said he'd let Daniel Gonzales know he ran into me. It was also nice to see the church pastor and his long-time Ecuadorian resident Canadian wife. After the service, there were delicious goodies in celebration of the former, who has just finished his master of divinity-- funny, considering Andrea's church was in the middle of celebrating Santi's graduation from seminary. By the time I headed home, the latter celebration was over, but that took the pressure off of me to buy a  'default' gift of chocolates or something on the way home, and actually make or buy him something significant. I'm thinking of searching for a Spanish translation of anything Chesterton. Something makes me gleefully, subversively happy about supplying a Baptist pastor in a divisionist culture with the writings of a badass Catholic theologian. It's my little way of making the world a better place. Speaking of, when I got home, a whole bunch of family that was over, and when I got social clausterphobic, I went to my room and continued poking around BadCatholic. I know this isn't the only modern theology blog out there, but it's the first one I've encountered, and I'm really excited for the implications it could have for my studies in religion and social change, especially with my literature/language emphasis. Another notable is that when the girls were dying their hair (a popular middle-class Ecuadorian pasttime), I decided to take a small plunge and dye a red streak into my hair, near the front. It's in a 'sublayer' under the blonde, so it's subtle in a way that makes me happy. At night, we were supposed to go watch a movie with Andrea's dad, but it didn't work out. We did, however, look back through a bunch of our trip photos together as we rode across town to drop Angelica's ex-ex-boyfriend back at home. I somehow stayed up til 2am uploading and fixing photos and then reading and writing an awkward 'hey, what you're doing is of academic and personal interest to me' email to Marc from BadCatholic. This unexpected lateness made me sleep in til 8:30 this morning, at which point I did my morning exercise and reading routine, cleaned the kitchen, helped the grandmas to the car so that they, Naty, and Angelica could go to their house, and left a message at the church asking Julio to call me when he gets in so we can go rent the risers for painting. He seems to be delayed, though, as it's past noon and he's still not in. This is part of a wider trend of just feeling like my days could be put to better use. I think it was just the way the trip shook down-- there are a lot of great, beautiful things about staying with friends, but the family does have a prestructured life, so the structure simply isn't in place to facilitate my trip goals, as it would be if I were staying with a ministry. I'm trying to make the best of it and dig in deep to the relationships and such that I have until I go to Los Rios to be with Betsy's family and join their ministries. I'm trying to forge beautiful relationships at all times, though. Absolutely no complaints.  Just learning opportunities.

Days 21.5 & 22

6/29/13

Day before yesterday ended uneventfully; after Mateo's English lesson, Angelica's boyfriend took her and Matteo to a free concert at the mall, which proved to be unhappening, so the three went to watch Monster's Inc U in the theater instead. I was invited, of course, but still easily tired from the sick recoop, so I decided to stay at Magaly's, where a lot of re-directing happened. I decided that this restless feeling I've been having (despite acknowledging the slower pace of life here and my recent illness) is going to be put to best use by putting a hustle in the mural project, finishing in the next two weeks, and then going to Betsy Coello's house in another part of Ecuador for the following two weeks. I'd really like to invest a lot of time with this family because they were such a blessing to me last time, and because I'd really love the daily ministry dynamic of being part of a family that runs a church-- and in fact, lives on the top floor of the (narrow) three-story church. I'll come back to Quito and Andrea for my last week and a half. I also realized that I had lost my morning routine when I came to Ecuador. I resolved to recommence with the system that carried me through the last school year so well-- exercise, shower, Jesus time, and breakfast before my day starts. It involves waking up a bit ridiculously early, but I don't mind. Soo Maury (Mateo's awsome stepdad) took Angelica and I home, and in the morning, thanks to waking up early for my new routine, I finally got a chance to have a real conversation with Angelica, who I still don't understand, but it's nice to connect a little. Then, after failed attempts to get a taxi, Andrea helped me find a guy in the neighborhood who taxis from his personal car-- apprently she's ridden with him before and he otherwise has a good reputation-- to take me to the seminary where I met Josue for a day of playing tourist with the gringo group that was STINTing in Ecuador this week, for whom he had been translating. We went to a volcano, the Mitad de Mundo monument and shops (I picked up a sweet indian-style bracelet/ring hand jewelry thing and a plaque thing of a beautiful, sad Guayasamin-style face), and a museum where we learned about different indigenous groups (a little touristy, but still super interesting and educational). Because the big Southern Baptist group was hanging out according to their churches of origin for the first time that week, they were all very tight with each other, not rudely, but not super reaching-outy either (I don't blame them or feel hurt in the slightest, and they're awesome people) so Josue and I basically talked the whole time, sliding into Spanish when he got tired or we wanted to talk like Heathen Liberals. On the public bus back, I saw Anita, the woman whose family and ministry had hosted me three years ago, trying and failing to catch a bus. I've been trying to reconnect and make reparations with that family, not because anything dramatic or bad happened, but because I generally comported myself like a boogar three years ago and therefore left an unfavorable impression on them. It wasn't like I was purposely rude, but my aspergery introversion and culture shock (and personality incompatibilities with some of the family) often came off that way. But I've learned a heck of a lot since then and really want to see them. I sent them a message on Facebook telling them I'm in town, but they haven't responded, unfortunately. Anyway, I'm not worried about the once-again-missed connection; God always has something better in store when my plans are foiled. I took a taxi back home, where I realized I'd never picked up my keys from inside. But I'd learned from last time I was locked out that I could talk to the block's guard (not the creep up the street; a good guy), who, after talking to the neighbor who cleans to make sure she hadn't left the alarm on, went into the house from the back porch and opened the front door for me. I stayed inside reading BadCatholic's blog (I'm absolutely an addict, and have no shame), and my book of History Makers (also addicted) until it was time to go to Friday night bible study, for which Santi picked me up and which was particularly good. We played a group game in which everyone was assigned military ranks and had to stand when addressing (or being addressed by) someone above them-- if they didn't, or if they stood for someone below them, they were booted to the lowest rank. It was a pretty cool game, and while that's not what the culture is 'like', it's definitely what the US culture is not like, so I had a little sociological grin at myself. Began writing a poem from the perspective of someone who's praying to God about how she's been hurt by the church during the study (which was about modern idolatry). To give you a sneak peak and an idea of my inspiration, one of the lines is 'they called everything I love an idol'. I get myself into trouble with this kind of thing; I'm not being subversive or even arguing against the truth of what's being said, I just get, I don't know, subversively inspired in new directions. Which I don't mind. It's all love. Usually. Went home and had a sleepy philosophical talk with Andrea before going to bed, which was nice, even though I did too much of the talking. I feel like she didn't mind, though, so I didn't either.  

Day 20

Day 20

I can't believe my time in Ecuador is 1/3 over! I feel kind of restless-- the pace of life is generally slower down here, but I still thought I'd have done more by now-- not just yesterday, but in general. I get a pass yesterday cause it was sick recoop, part II. I stayed in bed in the other room and watched old movies that I'd brought from the states. The only really eventful thing was that the youngest came home with a boyfriend and friend, and as they didn't know I was there, I overheard more than I should. They didn't stay long, though, and I survived the awkward moment. I called Santi and he picked me up for the Wednesday small group. It was at the same house as two weeks ago, when I'd had my lil emotional day-- I was glad to have a chance to show up relatively functional. I was still tired from sick recooping, but over all, it was a lot better. Thank God, there was a new older lady in the group, so we didn't do any ridiculous games to start. I followed most of the lesson, but at one point tuned out to have a really important talk with God. It was a good moment. On the way home, I talked with Santi a lot-- I really like this dude, he's a good pastor. I got home and knocked out as usual.

 Today, Andrea's dad came over for breakfast and to take Angelica to her mom and Andrea to school. I decided not to go to the orphanage today (in place of tomorrow) as planned, since I still have a little bit of cold. If Josue wants to meet up tomorrow like we've talked about, I'll either just have a shorter time at the orphanage or stop by on Saturday for a bit. Instead, I accompanied Angelica and Nataly for the former's haircut, and now we're sitting in the living room of Magaly's as Naty puts blue streaks in her hair.The process involves pulling thin strands of hair through a holey shower cap designed for that purpose, so she now looks like she's part of a new age alt punk band or something. Weird life. Not what I had in mind, but it's kind of fun. English lessons with Mateo start soon.  

Ely Addison, over n out.

~Ely

Day 19

6/26/13

Least eventful day yet. Went to Magaly's with Andrea, where she worked on a powerpoint that she had to finish for class.  I called the church to ask Julio about the 'andamios'-- the risers for painting (FINALLY remembered the word!), and he said he'd talk to Santi when he arrived and that Santi'd give me a call. By the time it reached 1pm, though, I was feeling drained enough to be already set on lounging around with Magaly and Fany, the former still recovering from surgery, and the latter having taken a little fall the previous day that'd given her a sore arm and hip. So though Santi didn't call, we passed the rest of the afternoon in the big bedroom, them in the bed, me in the recliner, watching vacation slideshows, listening to tranquil music, and then watching a dubbed-over 'Lie to Me' and soap operas. Well, I wasn't really watching so much as snoozing. I was trying not to touch anyone and warned the family away from giving me the greeting kisses when they got home, which seemed strange to them-- I thought back to sociology class, how sickness can be a cultural phenomenon. Anyway, once the family all crowded into the main bedroom, I snuck off for a nap in the boys' room until it was time to go home. Though they insisted that I keep a jacket on all day and sleep under a mountain of covers, I just couldn't-- overheating is one of my worst discomforts-- so I did my own lil thang, downed some herbal tea and nyquil (SO glad I remembered to bring it-- it's not an international phenomenon!), and am feeling much better this morning. Still planning on taking the day off to watch the old movies I brought from home, at least until it's time to go tutor. Hope to be feeling better by then.  

Day 18

6/25/13

Day 18

Yesterday was relatively very uneventful-- I got up to clean around 9, at which point one significant thing did happen. I saw a text message on my phone that said a certain number had asked me to call it (meaning it was out of saldo, or calling money). I called and talked to Gloria Matute, who very almost-apologetically-bashfully asked if there was anyway if I could help with a computer for the kids to do their school work on. It's a good idea, I told her, but I want her to look around and give me a ballpark of how much something like that would cost-- I really don't want to spend all the money on a computer; I feel like the daily homework help is more important (as well as the psychological help for Jonatan, which I haven't told her about wanting to pursue yet, but I will soon). During the call, I tried to express my firm belief that I was here to bless her family not just because of my own will but because God has put them on my heart. She seems pretty overwhelmed by all of this, in a positive way. 

After the call, I got picked up by Santi to work on the walls around noon, and all of that's going well. Today we should be getting the risers to work on the higher parts of the walls. Later at Magaly's, there were three more visitors for Naty-- a woman that had lived and taught at the biblical institute with her family three years ago was among them. This woman had been a godsend when I was there before, as she had spoken with me in (learned) English when I was drowning in a sea of Spanish. She now lived with her husband and children closer to a foundation for special needs kids, where they now devote their full time. We'd visited once when I was there before, and it was great-- I'm excited to take her up on her invitation to visit again. After tutoring Mateo, Andrea and Angelica came, then their Papi came to take them home. He's apparently keeping the car for a few days, so I'm not sure how the sisters are getting to school-- though I assume friends and buses and taxis. I started getting a little bit of a cold last night, and it's a little worse this morning. Good thing I don't have to be social til Friday. I think it was also my cold that made me wake up to really, really strange dreams. First, at Magaly's, Fani was telling a little mystery girl who was attempting homework that she never, ever lives up to Fani's expectations, at which point I yelled at Fani. I realized during my dream that all of this was happening in English, but it kept going, me trying to make the girl feel better and get her homework done in another room. Then things got really weird— total scene change, a man whose voice sometimes went all weird turned out to have welcomed aliens into his brain, apparently connected to the cancer that gave him massive, ridiculous tumors that he carried around with him in a cart, much to his girlfriend's disgust-- she had left him, I think, because of it. Well, I am kind of happy to have had a non-literal-life-connection dream; for the past several years I've only had the first type I described, with people from my life living out my expectations and fears in exaggerated ways. It's nice to have a little bizarrity.

Today the Internet's not working at the house, Andrea and I are at Magaly's while she finishes an assignment. I'm awaiting a call from church to know what the plan is today. Plans. haha.

~Ely

Day 17

6/24/13

You haven't really lived until you've been lost in the midnight fog of an Ecuadorian jungle! Ok, so, we weren't REALLY lost and it wasn't a jungle like you picture when I drop the word jungle. We just made a few wrong turns in the maze of well-worn dirt roads that took us out to the tropical Ecuadorian countryside where Petato's family has built a little weekend house. We got there fine, though, and after parking, it was maybe a five minute uphill climb to the small building that carried the overwhelming scent of the musty (untreated, unpainted) wood it was made from. Petato's aunt and grandmother greeted us at the door, and we could hear more voices-- an uncle and young niece, I later learned-- from inside one of the little sleeping rooms. Petato took us out to the little back patio and promised that during the day, the view was incredible. His aunt soon called us back in to eat a dish of plantain and fish, cooked in large folded-up leaves that had probably been hand-picked by the family. Though I'm not the biggest fan of fish and the food was a little dry for my taste, I appreciated the experience. Andrea and I went to bed in the second little room, where a thin but comfy fullish-sized mattress had been laid out. In the morning, I was the first up, so I quickly got dressed and went out to the patio to enjoy the view. It was pretty fantastic-- we overlooked a valley and watched the green mountain tops fall away from us, filled with banana plants and other greenery, and speckled with houses and small buildings. The river in the near-distance was not the one we'd be visiting that day, but it was still lovely. Content with my glimpse at the view, I went to lay down for a few more minutes until everyone started waking up, and Petato and Andrea and I set out for an early morning trip to the nearby river. When the river came into sight, I saw a beautiful girl sitting on the river rocks on the shore-- when we got closer, I saw that it was Petato's four-year-old niece, whose parents (aunt and uncle? Not sure how everyone is connected!) were sitting at a place in the river where the water cascades over some rocks, a natural jacuzzi massage type of thing. The water was so beautiful and clear, and I was excited to go swimming. When I dipped my toes in, I found the water quite cold-- I knew I could adjust, but I was worried about the walk back, as the sun hadn't peeked its head out from the clouds yet. Petato and Andrea were already jumping into the deep part from a high rock, and I eventually got over it and let them help me walk into the water, and we got our own free massages on the river rocks. We went back for breakfast-- fishy stuff part II-- before Andrea and I took a quick nap. Then we sat on the front porch and sucked on fresh-picked sugar cane, which was a quintessential beautiful moment. Soon, we had tea and fried potato-shaped cheesy plantain creations that were delicious beyond description. It was around 11, and we decided to walk to a river that was not quite as close, but apparently very beautiful. While some of the locals said it was an hour walk to that little town, we were still on the road at the hour and a half mark and well past worn out (my hip was being cranky, too!) when we passed a sign that said the village and the river were 2 km (over a mile) away. We flagged down a pickup for a ride and hopped in the back. They were apparently going to the river too, so they dropped us quite close. It was a beautiful little spot under a high bridge-- a slightly wider version of the bridge Shrek took to the dragon's castle, which was kind of exciting. The entry point was a gently-sloping beach that was great for kids and therefore pretty crowded with families, but on the other, deeper side of the slow-moving river, there was a little rock about 12 feet out of the water that we began jumping off of. Petato even followed the example of a couple brave gentlemen and jumped from the bridge, which was about 30 feet above the water. Of course, I took video. Then we headed back into town and broke my 20 on waters and ice creams at a little store, where the same guy who picked us up sat and chatted with us.  He said he'd give us a ride back to the house for $8, and my cranky hip was killing me, so there's no way I could've walked the 3 or 4 miles back to the house. When we got back, the house was empty and locked. I'd been waiting for the bathroom, and had to pee outside, thus rendering the day an official adventure. We went to meet the family at the river where Petato knew they'd be; they were just getting back to the cars to get ready to leave when we got there. The ride back was long, but much more enjoyable because we could see the view, and while we got slightly lost, we didn't mind. We were playing games and practicing English, me translating English pop songs that played on the radio, etc. I eventually joined Andrea into a cozy state of half sleep until we arrived home, where I cleaned the river off of me and then went directly to bed.  

Day 16

6/22/2013

Day 16

Today we visited Nathalie at Magaly's house in the morning, as the whole family had plans that kept them away. Since Naty's sick and this culture is as beautiful as it is, I've gotten to meet more of Andrea's relatives and friends-of-family than I could possibly keep straight. I like some of them more than others, of course, but over all, they're good people. After spending time with the freshest batch of visitors, we took our long-awaited trip to the south of Quito to meet up with the Matute family. We went to the mall where we'd agreed to meet for lunch, where we grabbed some simple toys from the toy store near the food court before calling the mom to find each other. Seeing Josue, Jonatan, Ariel, and Julexi today was absolutely wonderful. Though I'm sure I'm an obscure resurrected memory, they didt recognize me-- as I approached, Josue begin pointing and telling his family, her, her! They look healthy and happy, and the family situation seems overall positive. Their faces have all matured over the last three years, except for Jonatan, who looks exactly the same, slightly taller, but shorter than his non-identical twin brother. They're struggling in school-- Jonatan David in particular is having trouble with basic skills (Mom says he can't read :/). Their mom works two jobs, but after a recent bad school report, she cut back on her work hours to be there with the kids, which means things are really tight financially. She looked like she was about to cry when I told her I wanted to pay for a daily tutor/homework helper. We talked about their time at the kid's home, and Josue in particular has really distinct memories of our times together, which is so encouraging-- that my work here had an impact on them and the others that I worked with, and will continue to impact the kids at the orphanage, despite their young age. After lunch, I gave them the gifts from the bag that they'd been eyeing the whole time we met up-- those gooey animals on a stretchy string that stick to walls and stuff, and mitts with velcro balls to play with at home. Mom got the camera I first tried to buy for my trip, but found that it was so particular about lighting as to not be adventure gear. It's great for still photos, though. Her face lit up when I gave it to her-- apparently she'd wanted one for awhile. In general, I think she was really overwhelmed today, but in a positive way. It is a weird thing to happen, and a redemptive thing. Those eight months that the boys were in the orphanage were really tough, though she had visited as much as she could. I really hope that it's becoming a positive, that the kids will now get the help they need because God brought us together in that unfortunate circumstance and kept them on my heart ever since. I really want to give them a chance at health, wellness, and success. I encouraged Mom to get plugged into a church that has good children's programs and good support for her-- it's tough enough doing it alone, and I'd really love to see the kids surrounded by people who will pour into them spiritually. We took them back to their house so they wouldn't have to bus-- they live in a very poor area, but the house looks adequate from the outside at least. It's painted a ridiculous shade of neon green, which kind of made me happy. On the way home, Andrea and I also talked about paying for a therapist for Jonatan David, as his school problems seem to be related with a general emotional unhealthy-- he always seems sad and disengaged. Her uncle is studying child psychology, so he can probably help us with his connections. We agreed to meet up in two weeks to take the kids to a pool or some similar kind of diversion, and I'm really excited for this. My weekends are filling up really quick, in the best way. I just hope I don't run out of time for everyone!

Tonight we're leaving to go to a river with Petato and his family. The little overnight bag is all packed and I'm very excited! As always, check back for the update!

~Ely

Days 14 and 15

Day 14

6/21/13

As I was beginning to get ready for yesterday's adventures, the other Ely, who cleans the house a few days a week, arrived for duty. I think I've mentioned my general discomfort about 'the help' as a middle-class Californian American, but she's really easy to talk to, and though she still addresses me with 'usted', it doesn't feel like she's creating some weird power distance. She performed one of the stereotypical hollywood 'maid duties' by filling me in on some of the situation in the family-- the marital split, all of the health trauma, the disconnect from the church. I thought back to Santi's mentioning over lunch the other day that God might have me here for this family. I don't really know how to help besides being a good family member, and  I've never really been able to do that before. Anyway, when I mentioned that I needed to run some errands, she said that her husband could taxi me, as he's a driver. He took me to get masking tape for painting, groceries, and the church keys before taking me back to the house, where we pulled up right behind Andrea, who took me to church on her way back to town. I got a lot of work done before Santi showed up and took me over to Magaly's, where her aunt and 20-year-old cousin arrived almost immediately. The cousin, Andres, sat in on Mateo's English lesson and played pictionary with us, taught me how to play a Spanish nursery rhyme type song on the piano, and then took Abuela and I to the store for bread, which we all gathered around the table to eat with coffee when we came back. As we finished up, Andrea and her dad called Angelica to say that they were waiting outside to take the sisters clothes shopping. On the way, the conversation between Angelica and her dad dissolved into an argument, over which Andrea and I small-talked. At the store, I was having an autistic moment, but a tranquil one; I just wanted to listen to soft sounds and touch soft things. Luckily the store owner was playing guitar behind the counter and singing with a sad, low voice, and I drifted around the store, touching everything, for the hour it took for the girls to spend their dad's money on several tops and dresses and such. I realized that the Ecuadorian middle class, though smaller, lives very much the same as their American counterparts. We then returned to Magaly's briefly and ate dinner before going home, where again, I was exhausted as heck and went promptly to sleep. I wonder if I will always be so tired by the end of the day. It may be a combination of the altitude and the mental effort of making myself understood. Anyway, it makes me sleep really, really well. Which I don't mind one bit.

Today I'm going to the orphanage, then going to watch Andrea do some kind of faculty prom queen thing, which should be quite interesting. More to come, of course.

~Ely

6/22/13

Day 15

Yesterday I went to the orphanage pretty early, so I got to see the older toddlers before they went off to their daycare. It was so crazy seeing my baby Brittany again! She's a real little person now! Karina, a toddler whose fetal alcohol syndrome had kept her with the babies when I was there, is also a full fledged little person now, still severely delayed, but talking and walking quite normally and everything. While the kids were still particularly crazy (they ran around a LOT, cried easily, and made a lot of noise, etc), the American woman (NAMES! Agh!) and two of her friends were also there, so things weren't too bad, especially when the older kids left for daycare. I slipped out right after the younger kid's lunch to head over to Andrea's cousin's, where she had advised me to meet her before two-thirty to go to some kind of department-beauty-queen type of event for her university. However, it seems there was a misunderstanding-- yesterday was a different event, and the real show will be next Friday. Andrea's sweet, old, plump great-grandmother came with her children and a great-grandchild (Andrea's young cousin) to visit Nathalie. They sat talking upstairs until it was time for 'coffee', which I've been enjoying helping Fany prepare for-- setting the table for bread with cheese and coffee, cocoa, or tea. We all gathered downstairs to enjoy it except for Naty, who still can't do stairs, but as soon as I finished my snack I headed back upstairs in order not to leave her alone and to avoid the crowded table. She told me that the visitors always forget to come back up after coffee, so I was really glad that I did. I'm learning that it's actually quite a good thing to have the kind of personality that drives me to intimate conversational settings, as no one gets left alone. I also got a chance to ask her about Fany-- every time I go to Magaly's house, I find myself really irritated at the way Magaly's mom is treated. I can come to terms with treating the maid like a maid, but not the mother. She does a lot and is so very rarely thanked, and, while she's stubborn and not always right about things, the frequency with which she's publicly corrected (or her orders are negated by mom's) is really sad. When I told Magaly that I don't think the family respects her, she nodded knowingly with a pouting lip, which somehow made me feel better. Sometimes just having someone agree with you that a problem is a problem is so encouraging. It lets you know that you're not alone in wanting it to change. After that, Andrea came, and we all sat talking with Naty for a little bit before heading to take the relatives home. Since Abuela needed something from Andrea's house, we stopped there, and I elected to stay and get ready for bed while she did the running around. I called my good friend Petato, who told me that his family is going on a trip to a river from tonight til Sunday night, and he'd love if Andrea and I could join. Of course, this sounds fantastic, so when Andrea got home I woke up long enough to tell her of this. The plan is that the two of us will go to the South on bus today, have lunch with the family, learn a little bit about their situation (to see how I can help), and then come back and get ready to leave with Petato tonight. I'm really excited for this. Stay tuned.

~Ely

Day 13

6/20/13

Yesterday, Andrea dropped me off at the mall for breakfast with a friend (Shout-out to Josue Berru!) on the way to class. He's prepping to go to the US for the first time, so I've been trying to analyze and explain my culture for him, which is such a unique and interesting opportunity. I'm still not sure what I'd warn someone about when they came to the US. Umm, don't get fat? Don't call anyone fat? Your Ecuadorian coins won't be accepted (though they might make awesome gifts?) I've been trying to think up something a little more comprehensive, we'll see what happens. Anyway, breakfast was great (don't let it go to your head, Josue. :P), and afterwards, I got a chip for the Ecuadorian phone that Fany (Mateo's grandmother) had given me, and bought a pair of hippie shades for Andrea's birthday that day. Then, it was back to the church, where I found a young woman waiting outside. She asked for the pastor (Santi's dad) when I arrived, so I figured she was not a creeper and I let her in. She actually helped me with the mural as we waited for Santi. When Santi arrived, he talked to her for a bit before the three of us went back to his house for lunch with his family. Kid's club started around 3, so we headed back to church, where I continued working as kids occasionally floated in to check on my progress. I got all but 4 of the people done-- three of which I can't even do until we get some kind of rafters up. The general concensus is good, though after taking and looking through some photos, I can see new things that I need to work on. It's funny how a change of medium will do that. Anyway, when kid's club ended, Santi dropped me off at Magaly's, where Nathalie was now settled in upstairs and helping Mateo learn his times tables. I made some flash cards for him to fill in and then study with, and we'll continue with that when I come over today. Nathalie's abdominal healing means she can't do stairs, so we brought her up some dinner before eating around the table. Around that time, Angelica arrived, dropped off by a friend-- Andrea was still out with friends for her birthday, and would evidently be spending the night at her grandmother's, closer to where she was. The hippie shades will have to wait til she comes home today. Magaly's husband (names, AHH!) drove us home, where we went promptly to sleep.

Today, I plan to pick up a few things from the store (including masking tape) before going to the church to keep working. I also feel as though something else important is supposed to happen today, but I can't remember what. Good thing I like surprises. :)

Day 12

6/19/13

It's hard to believe that I've been here for almost two weeks! Work on the mural began around 10 yesterday; I set up the projector and started outlining the images I've chosen for the silhouettes. Santi arrived around 11, and we went for lunch at his house with his wife and daughter. I gave him a copy of my Spoken Word CD, though I think trying to understand it might just be overwhelming-- I know if someone gave me something like that in Spanish, I'd practically cry. But the words are included in the lil book, and reading along helps. We went back to the church and I worked on the mural til 5, since Mateo wouldn't be having English lessons on account of some after-school math tutoring. Santi brought his laptop downstairs and did his (seminary?) reading on the couch to keep me company. For some reason, understanding the things he was telling me was particularly hard yesterday-- I think my brain's just worn out. On the other hand, I've been thinking and mentally responding to most things in Spanish, and the thought of translating these musings to English kind of exhausts me. So I guess the exhaustion is just part of the progress.

Santi dropped me at Andrea's, where I worked on getting the video uploaded (I now have a zip file in a drop box, which will at least give someone with a better video converter access to it :/) and made an awkward dinner of the last two days' leftover breakfasts. By the time she got home, it was around 8:30. We lounged around the mom's big-bed room until 11-ish before parting ways to sleep.

Today's an exciting day-- it's both Andrea's birthday and the day that Nathalie comes home from the hospital. She'll be staying at Magaly's though, as her mother Fani will be home all day to tend to her. I'm also meeting my friend Josue for breakfast in a bit before heading over to the church to keep working. Fani loaned me an old Ecuadorian cell phone, so if I can buy a chip today, I'll be calling Gloria Matute again to try to schedule a visit. As always, I'll let you know how it goes!

Day 11 (Second half)

6/18/13

Santi never came to the house to pick me up to work on the mural yesterday (I later found out he was both busy and sick), so I spent the time recording the video of my newest poem, which I'm excited to say is about the Autism experience and relationship to society. It's really a declaration of validity and a celebration of identity. Unfortunately I'm having problems converting the video into a file size that works while retaining the quality (I've tried like 8 times, and the sound is always off from the visual! Grr!), so it's still not online yet, but I'm working on it. Then I called a taxi and went to tutor Mateo. We're now much more focused on story, music, art, and in general, using the language that he knows. It's a lot of fun. After the lesson, his parents got home, and they, his grandma, and I (yes, four adults at once!) tried to help him through his math homework, a page of very ugly long division problems. I kept wondering if my thought that some of us needed to back off was an American idea or just a general efficiency principle; it was kind of crazy with everyone giving him advice and reminders. Then we went home and after a lot of failed attempts to get my video online, I went to sleep. It wasn't the most eventful day, but you need a few slower days once in a while.

We tried to call Gloria, the Matute kids' mom, this morning. The first time, I think she picked up, but the reception was so bad that I couldn't tell, and the call ended within a few seconds-- I think it was just lost, I hope she didn't hang up for some reason. Anyway, I hope this is not a permanent problem, and that our plans to visit Josue and Jonatan this evening are only slightly delayed. Prayer warriors unite! :)

Days 9 and 10

Day 9

6/15/2013

Yesterday morning began with some excitement over a mouse in the kitchen, which apparently is one of Angelica's worst nightmares. I'm the one who saw it best and tried to convince her that it was a cute little thing (daww, it was!), but she still insisted on calling Santi, and when he didn't answer, her boyfriend (ish) on the other side of town. We drove through thick construction traffic to meet him at the condado (shopping mall), and by the time we got back, it had been over an hour since we had seen the little creature, so after a bit of unfruitful searching, we just had brunch together. Then we all went to the hospital to visit Nataly, who's doing really well. Apparently they took out 20 centimeters (about 8 inches) of her colon, which included several large tumors, and the current prognosis is good. It was now 3 o'clock and we were being picked up for the quince around 5, but we still hadn't showered yet, as the hot water hadn't been working that morning. When we got back to the house, we still couldn't fix it, so we heated some water on the stove and did what we could. 

 Around 4:40, Petato learned that arriving early to pick up women is a bad idea-- he was waiting in the car for at least half an hour, poor guy, before we came out-- clean and in style, of course. After meeting some relatives at his house, we went to the fancy facility that was hosting the party. The things Andrea said in the car confirmed what was apparent by swankness of the party-- Petato's family enjoyed a pretty comfortable position in Ecuador's socioeconomic system. I wouldn't have guessed this either by his comments or his demeanour. The quince was a blast. As the brother of the princess, Petato gave a short welcoming speech at the beginning before handing the mic over to some other family members and then the pastor, who unfortunately had that uncomfortable cheesy demeanor that is most often seen in people who are selling something. He gave a long sermon with four pieces of advice for the blooming princess, things like “obey your parents” and “learn from the mistakes of others," which, while they may be true, weren't convincingly or sincerely offered, at least for my cynical mind. After this, we had a toast of yummy mostly-fruit-juice champagne, then dinner. During the meal, we sat with some of Petato's friends from his old church, a genial group of three young (our age-ish) guys. After a very modern dance half-hour that hurt my ears, during which I taught Petato and his friends to dance like gringos (Pointer fingers up, and rock it!) and Andrea and I took to the dance floor, where she tried to teach me to be smooth-- though it wasn't quite working, I'd be willing to give it another try sometime. The boys declined, apparently a little to Baptist or a little too awkward to dance with us. :) After that, the little 'couples' that had ceremonially accompanied the princess took part in a weird ritual for kids their age-- the guys took off the girl's garters (which were place just below their variously-altitudinous hemlines) after sexy-dancing up to them. Some of the 'little gentlemen' even strip-teased on their way up-- I know this culure's more comfortable with the human body, but even Petato and Andrea were exchanging uncomfortable looks. “They go a little crazy, don't they?” I chuckled to a groan-laughing Petato in Spanish, “Yes,” he laughed back. On the way home, I fell into the shallow end of sleep, following their converstions enough to know that they noticed I was asleep-- I didn't care, though, I was so wiped. It was a beautiful party and a beautiful day. :)

6/17/2013

Yesterday we went to pick up Angelica from her boyfriend's cousin's house, where she had stayed the night before in order not to be alone while we were out late at the quince. We went to 'breakfast' at a nearby little encebollada (type of soup) restaurant before going to church, where there were several special features for father's day. (I still struggle not to fall asleep during the sermons, and I wonder if I've been here too long to blame the altitude. More likely it's because though the days are slower, they seem to be a lot fuller, too, so I just get tired.) Santi's wife and then Santi each did a dramatic presentation of their own relationships with their fathers-- Santi's wife's was an abandonment story, Santi's, a rebellion and redemption story. After that, the kids with fathers in the congregation came forward to choose gifts for their fathers. By this point I had decided to email my dad a piece of photo art-- “Happy dad's day” spelled out with shapes found on the street or around town-- a swing with a cross bar might make an A, for example. I collected photos throughout the day for this. 

After church, we went to visit Mom again, though only one could go up at a time because it was outside of visiting hours. Andrea and I took some of her (Nathalie's) clothes to the grandmother's to wash, and came back with the young uncle and great-grandmother while the clothes were drying. Then, another trip back to grandma's to drop off Angelica to rest, as she was feeling sick in the stomach herself, to pick up the clothes, and to print out some things for Nathalie to do-- crosswords, sudokus, etc-- by the 5^th day in the hospital, you can imagine she was a little bored. By the time we arrived with the clothes and boredom relief, Nathalie's cousin Magaly (whose Mateo I tutor) had arrived with her mother and husband. It was almost six by this time, so we only had a few more minutes before visiting hours were closing. We decided to go to Magaly's hosue after dropping off Abuela and Jose (the uncle), where we had a little dinner of tea/coffee and chicken on bread rolls, sandwich style. I don't know how I got so tired (it must have been the excitement of the night before), but by the time we got home I was practically dead. I still had to put together my dad's card and find photos to project on the wall to trace for the church mural, though, so I got to bed around 11:30.

Today I was planning to wake up early and go work on the mural, but since Santi didn't end up coming before his class as planned (he told Andrea he'd come after, around 10, instead), I went to the orphanage to retrieve the kid's mom's number again-- to call about visiting tomorrow. I'm really excited about this, so I hope it works out. After severely missing my stop on the bus to the mall and having to get off and take another one back, I took a taxi to the church, where I waited from 9:40 til 10:50ish for Santi or anyone to come to church. I finally walked back home (in a roundabout way to avoid Creepster Guard), made an awkward smoothie of milk, boiled plantain, guava marmalade, and chocolate powder. It's now noon, and I still don't know if Santi's coming, and when he does, if I'll have time to do much on the mural before leaving around 2 to tutor Mateo. Ah well. We have Ecuadorian time. It lasts longer. :)

Days 7 and 8

Day 7

6/14/13

Yesterday was a success on quite a few levels. Andrea and Angelica left early to visit their mom in the hospital (it was the day of her big surgery), while I stayed home to take care of some business for the church mural. I called the church, and within maybe two minutes, the other church worker from yesterday, the stocky one with the big smiles, showed up in the van. Of course I wasn't actually ready to go, so I tried to quickly gather my things and set the alarm, but the alarm wasn't cooperating. I finally grew anxious enough about keeping him waiting that I went to the van, set my things down, and asked him for help. He came in and we somehow got it to work. On the way to the church we talked about places we traveled, and stopped by one of the little stores to get a water 'con gas'. Later he explained that what I had assumed was carbonation was all-natural gas infusion from a spring in Ecuador, and they actually had to take out some of the natural gas to make it drinkable. That's why when I tried some and expected it to have the unpleasant bitterness of soda water, I was pleasantly surprised. It's almost sweet in a minerally kind of way. At the church, I sat in the youth room and began sketching out the mural in greater detail on pieces of paper, eventually creating something I'm immensely happy with. Upstairs, I could hear Santi rocking his pastor thing, first having a long in-person conversation with an emotional woman who was grieving for what she believed was becoming a loss of faith in her son. I was glad to see that what in America would so often be written off as teenagers being teenagers was still taken seriously-- When she began to pray, the way she prayed for her sons was incredible, her love and concern making her cry. I also caught the names “Josue y Jonatan”, and seconded her prayer for God's guidance in their lives on behalf of my own Josue and Jonatan (Santi later explained that those were the names of the church's newest troublemakers). I also, in the midst of this, talked to Santi about what happened yesterday, and he neither hates me nor thinks I'm an alien. He understands the frustration of the language barrier, as he had a girlfriend (before he met his wife) from Chicago who only spoke English, and making himself understood was very difficult. After all the drawings were done, we talked about supplies and timelines and decided I'd begin drawing on the actual walls on Monday. He offered lunch at his house, but at that time it was almost 3 and I was late for my English lesson, so he took me to Magali's house instead. 

There, when I knocked on the door, Mateo stuck a sleepy head out the window to see who I was. He had fallen asleep after the maid had left. Have I talked about the weirdness of Estelita's role for me? I have no idea how to relate to 'the help' as an American. I'm trying to be friendly and hope someday to find a way to tell her not to address me with 'usted', though I don't know if it'll be possible to break that in a culturally acceptable way. Mateo had no homework from school, so we had a light, easy day of practice and play. When Grandma got home, she said she'd been at the hospital with Nataly (Natie, Andrea's mom), and that the surgery had been successful, which I was very glad to hear. After we finished lessons, I went upstairs to the computer and made a little English song book for Mateo that we'll begin using next week. Soon, Magali (Mateo's mom) got home, also having visited Nataly and also having good things to report. I told her about Mateo's progress (we have effectively completed my whole week's worth of planned lessons in the last 2 days) and the new, arts, music, and storytelling-focused plan. We then had dinner with Andrea and talked about the mural, and Magaly said that she has access to a lot of supplies at her work. When we got home, Andrea sat in my room with me and we talked about friends who are and aren't Christians, the phenomenon of the crazy college students, and both of our experiences with accidentally (or with someone else's intention, rather) ingesting pot. Apparently the situation with marijuana is roughly equivalent here-- a growing social acceptability for marijuana, despite a law against it. It was a weird topic to end on, but we were getting sleepy, so we slept. :)

Day 8

6/15/2013

The adventure continued yesterday as I awoke and prepared to go to the orphanage. After a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast, and juice (the most American of my dining experiences so far), Andrea dropped me at the orphanage, and I headed out to the yard where the youngest of the kids were playing. When I saw that they were filling an above-ground pool for the kids, I tried to chat with a woman I hadn't seen before about the poor timing of this decision, as it was a cloudy, nippy day. She responded with a “No hablo espaniol,” so I asked her if she was from the states, and soon learned that she was visiting for two weeks with a friend who came every summer-- she now pointed to a blonde woman who was chatting with another man on the other side of the yard. I soon confirmed that this was the faithfully-annually-visiting school teacher I had heard about my first time here, and the other man, the standing medic of the kids. Conversations with the two of them quickly educated me on the kids' terrible histories-- everything from being abandoned in favor of a party life, to being left behind when parents went to prison, to the Child-Called-It kind of horrors that we'd all like to think don't actually happen. The girl who was now serving as the bully of the toddler group, along with her severely retarded and very, very affectionate five year old brother, were apparently in that last bracket. The woman also explained that 3 and 4 year olds who were out of diapers now went to day care, where they could learn to have a normal social experience outside of the strange microcosm of the orphanage. This was one of many positive changes that's taken place, including much better accommodations-- all new beds and equipment, and a seperate room for the older boys and older girls, which is important considering abuse histories and other sociological sadness-- and most importantly, better staffing. Last time I had come, there was one woman with the babies, one with the toddlers, and one with the older kids (when they got home from school) during the day, but on the night shift, there was only one woman left to try to get 27 kids to bed and keep them there all night. It was a bit of a disaster. Now with the older toddlers at day care, the babies and other diaper-bound got the attention they needed, from one or two women who are in charge, from the very involved male nurse, and from another floating male helper who comes in the afternoons. (I'm so glad to see that there are healthy 'father figures', as it's important for both genders of kids to have a good experience of men for different reasons.) There are also two workers with the kids at night, which, though still scant for 27 kids, changes everything. As the school-age kids came home and sat down to eat, I recognized one girl who had been in the toddler bracket last time I was here, and though I didn't work with the toddlers much, it was nice to see a familiar face. She recognized me too, which was encouraging. Apparently several of my babies are still here too, now in the toddler group who were at day care. As with any group of kids, there are some slow/obstinant eaters, and by the time I helped the older kids finished their lunch, it was time to go.

My first Ecuadorian taxi experience probably couldn't have gone much better. The driver was really friendly young guy with a big smile, maybe slightly flirtatious but in a benign Latin way that didn't make me feel uncomfortable, and by the time we arrived at the church we had chatted about my purpose in Ecuador, his (lack of) travel history, etc. At the church, Santi soon arrived with his nephew (young uncle?), and explained to us that we'd be with the younger kids, teaching a lesson based on the verse about the kingdom being like a little yeast that leavens a whole batch of dough. When the kids came, I was happy to see many of those I had met in the car the other day, all affectionate little cherubs for my first visit-- of course I know they have other sides, but I don't care. I love them anyway. Especially the ones with social/emotional problems. Probably because I identify.  The lesson was pretty straightforward; though I doubted my ability to explain in Spanish, I explained the concept well enough. When the older kids came back in for a group activity-- decorating goofy paper glasses that we'd cut out for them, they loved it, especially when I started taking pictures. :) After that, we crammed the entire batch of kids (probably almost 20) and two bicycles in the van and went to leave the kids at their houses. 

Though I was wiped, I decided I'd like to go to the cedula (small group bible study) too, so we picked up a couple more people, including his wife and year-and-a-half-ish old baby, Sofie. When we arrived at the church member Ricki's house, the latter was spoiled rotten by the matron of the house to a ridiculous and (in American eyes) almost disrepectful extent. For example, when Santi was trying to take off her sweater, she started crying, and the woman put out her arms and practically insisted that he handed her the child, who she baby-talked to until she stopped crying before taking off the sweater. Later, kneeling with Sofie right next to the mother, she told the child, “Someone put your diaper on wrong! Who? Oh, Mommy put your diaper on wrong!” before fixing it, which I'm sure even in this culture is not a nice thing to emphasize right in front of someone. We played a modified Pictionary in which the word guesser got the points (and therefore, I failed, only getting one word the whole time, haha) before beginning the study. We were learning about purifying our lives and other Baptist-flavored themes (I'm not un-baptist, just un-denominational). When they started talking about not hanging around sinful people, I had to speak up-- yes, it's absolutely a biblical principle, but one side of the coin that must be declared a counterfeit if not complete on both sides. Of course, I didn't state it like a disagreement cause it's not, I just said (in pretty decent Spanish, I think, hooray) that Christ set the perfect example for interaction with non-believers, never closed or cold, in fact, quite the opposite, but never compromising or joining the sinner in their sin. He offered them something better, and he did it by coming close to them. I was neither shunned nor praised for pointing this out; I think everyone believes it, but they may also believe it's a dangerous thing to teach to our vulnerable young kids. However, I firmly believe that the Christian life is and should be dangerous in some ways, and this is one of them. I have to ponder my relationship to the doctrine of this church, figure out how to positively contribute as a good guest. 

On the way home, I laughed with Santi's wife about how ridiculous this woman was; If she had been feeling self-conscious about her parenting skills, I hope it made her feel better, as she has absolutely no reason to. When I was dropped off, I learned that the father had come and gone, so I may not meet him during this trip at all, but I've met more new people than I can keep straight over the past week, so I think I'll recover. I was also feeling nauseous and headachy last night, but am feeling much better this morning. 

Today's plans involve visiting Nataly ('mom') in the hospital and going to Petato's sister's quinceanyera (15^th birthday, for you gringos). Stay tuned, I'm sure it'll be interesting. :)