Day 14
6/21/13
As I was beginning to get ready for
yesterday's adventures, the other Ely, who cleans the house a few
days a week, arrived for duty. I think I've mentioned my general
discomfort about 'the help' as a middle-class Californian American,
but she's really easy to talk to, and though she still addresses me
with 'usted', it doesn't feel like she's creating some weird power
distance. She performed one of the stereotypical hollywood 'maid
duties' by filling me in on some of the situation in the family-- the marital split, all of the health trauma, the disconnect from the church. I thought back to Santi's mentioning over lunch
the other day that God might have me here for this family. I don't
really know how to help besides being a good family member, and I've never really been able to do that before. Anyway, when I mentioned that I needed to
run some errands, she said that her
husband could taxi me, as he's a driver. He took
me to get masking tape for painting, groceries, and the church keys before taking
me back to the house, where we pulled up right behind Andrea, who took me to church on her way back to town. I got a lot of work done before Santi showed up and took
me over to Magaly's, where her aunt and 20-year-old cousin arrived
almost immediately. The cousin, Andres, sat in on Mateo's English lesson and played
pictionary with us, taught me how to play a Spanish nursery rhyme
type song on the piano, and then took Abuela and I to the store for
bread, which we all gathered around the table to eat with coffee when
we came back. As we finished up, Andrea and her dad called
Angelica to say that they were waiting outside to take the sisters
clothes shopping. On the way, the conversation between Angelica and her dad dissolved into an
argument, over which Andrea and I small-talked. At the store, I was
having an autistic moment, but a tranquil one; I just wanted to
listen to soft sounds and touch soft things. Luckily the store owner
was playing guitar behind the counter and singing with a sad, low
voice, and I drifted around the store, touching everything, for the
hour it took for the girls to spend their dad's money on several tops
and dresses and such. I realized that the Ecuadorian middle class,
though smaller, lives very much the same as their American
counterparts. We then returned to Magaly's briefly and ate dinner
before going home, where again, I was exhausted as heck and went
promptly to sleep. I wonder if I will always be so tired by the end
of the day. It may be a combination of the altitude and the mental
effort of making myself understood. Anyway, it makes me sleep really,
really well. Which I don't mind one bit.
Today I'm going to the orphanage, then
going to watch Andrea do some kind of faculty prom queen thing, which
should be quite interesting. More to come, of course.
~Ely
6/22/13
Day 15
Yesterday I went to the orphanage
pretty early, so I got to see the older toddlers before they went off
to their daycare. It was so crazy seeing my baby Brittany again!
She's a real little person now! Karina, a toddler whose fetal alcohol
syndrome had kept her with the babies when I was there, is also a
full fledged little person now, still severely delayed, but talking
and walking quite normally and everything. While the kids were still
particularly crazy (they ran around a LOT, cried easily, and made a
lot of noise, etc), the American woman (NAMES! Agh!) and two of her
friends were also there, so things weren't too bad, especially when
the older kids left for daycare. I slipped out right after the
younger kid's lunch to head over to Andrea's cousin's, where she had advised me to meet her before two-thirty to go to some kind of
department-beauty-queen type of event for her university. However, it
seems there was a misunderstanding-- yesterday was a different event,
and the real show will be next Friday. Andrea's sweet, old, plump
great-grandmother came with her children and a great-grandchild
(Andrea's young cousin) to visit Nathalie. They sat talking upstairs
until it was time for 'coffee', which I've been enjoying helping Fany
prepare for-- setting the table for bread with cheese and coffee,
cocoa, or tea. We all gathered downstairs to enjoy it except for Naty, who still
can't do stairs, but as soon as I finished my snack I headed back
upstairs in order not to leave her alone and to avoid the crowded
table. She told me that the visitors always forget to come back up
after coffee, so I was really glad that I did. I'm learning that it's
actually quite a good thing to have the kind of personality that
drives me to intimate conversational settings, as no one gets left
alone. I also got a chance to ask her about Fany-- every time I go to
Magaly's house, I find myself really irritated at the way Magaly's
mom is treated. I can come to terms with treating the maid like a
maid, but not the mother. She does a lot and is so very rarely
thanked, and, while she's stubborn and not always right about things,
the frequency with which she's publicly corrected (or her orders are
negated by mom's) is really sad. When I told Magaly that I don't
think the family respects her, she nodded knowingly with a pouting
lip, which somehow made me feel better. Sometimes just having someone
agree with you that a problem is a problem is so encouraging. It lets
you know that you're not alone in wanting it to change. After that,
Andrea came, and we all sat talking with Naty for a little bit before
heading to take the relatives home. Since Abuela needed something
from Andrea's house, we stopped there, and I elected to stay and get
ready for bed while she did the running around. I called my good
friend Petato, who told me
that his family is going on a trip to a river from tonight til Sunday
night, and he'd love if Andrea and I could join. Of course, this
sounds fantastic, so when Andrea got home I woke up long enough to
tell her of this. The plan is that the two of us will go to the South
on bus today, have lunch with the family, learn a little bit about
their situation (to see how I can help), and then come back and get
ready to leave with Petato tonight. I'm really excited for this. Stay tuned.
~Ely
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